I’m not quite sure if it was the crummy sleep, the contractions, or the anxiousness for today that got me out of bed at 3:30am. Those contractions at bedtime sure were some doozies! I thought for sure they were going to manifest into a little something at least but I think all they did was disrupt my sleep. But so far since I’ve been out of bed, only a few little ones to speak of. If anything, I’m just hoping this guy drops down and engages some so induction goes a bit more smoothly! I’m nervous about a big boy with little progression so far. Today, the treadmill will be my friend – only after I get all things ready to go!

Ready to go? It’s tonight! The day is finally here and I cannot wait! All these months of waiting and counting down and watching the growth and progression will soon be coming to an end. We’re about to take a new path – one that I’ve looked forward to for a while now. I really hope this is the best delivery so far – despite needing and induction and the fear that he is so big. I really want to experience an awesome birth and to share it with someone I love so incredibly much. Bringing this new life into our big fat full life is going to be great.

I’ve not had a whole lot of worries throughout this pregnancy but this morning I feel like there are plenty. I’m sure it’s just like having cold feet on a wedding day – just so many things happening at once and not feeling like there is enough time for any of it.

This is the last day for this big, round, cumbersome belly. It will be missed – but at the same time it won’t. It’s incredible to see the body do such amazing work and change in such drastic ways, even if only for a little while. Soon this baby will be on the outside and caring for him will be just a bit harder. It’s comforting to know he’s safe and sound inside of me and he’s my own little secret to keep – but I also can’t wait to share him with the world and to be loved by many.

And while this isn’t likely the last day for swollen feet – it’s pretty darn close! I cannot wait to be rid of these! Gosh they hurt the past few days and they aren’t reducing much at all at night. I hope the treadmill helps some today also.

I’ll miss Oreo’s for breakfast and pigging out on whatever I feel like. I’m certain a fair amount of weight will be dropped as soon as he’s born but there will be more to come and I have to break those habits to keep it from all coming back! I do not want to see the scale at these numbers ever again!

Our bags are packed, the clothes are washed, folded and put away, the portable crib is in place, the kids are excited, I feel ready, James feels ready, we just need him to arrive. I hope that by this time tomorrow that I’m wide awake, things are progressing and his birth is near. The anticipation might get the best of me today but hopefully not through the night – I would like to get a decent night of sleep though being in the hospital rarely allows for that. And I hope the gel spurs some contractions on its own but maybe not enough to keep me awake. I’ve slept the last night in my own bed as a pregnant mama. I will soon hug my kiddos for the last time with a big belly in our way. My baby Dillan will soon be a big brother. James will be a father. I will be a mother of 4. We will be a family of 6 people and 6 pets! My babies will be ages 0-16 years!  This path we’re about to take is wide open and welcoming – I’m sure we’ll leave a great mark!

I feel ready. I feel scared. I feel so fortunate to have so many wonderful things in my life and to be where I am today. I still feel pregnant – but not for much longer!

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