And the house is silent, the stockings are empty, under the tree is bare and my heart is heavy. We don’t celebrate Christmas the Christian way, we celebrate the family way, and all of my family isn’t here and it’s sad.

I was awake way too early with Lucas this morning – he’s had two milk-pig nights in a row. And while he’s back to sleep in t he swing now, I can’t drag my tired self back to bed for a few more winks either. I miss my big kids. I hate the trade-off years when they all leave and we celebrate the holiday with other family without them and then here at home nearly 2 weeks after the fact. I’m so bah-humbug most of the time, I don’t really enjoy this holiday, but I do enjoy my children and seeing their excitement and being able to make their wish lists come true and to spend the day with them and family. I hope that they are having an amazing day even though they aren’t here with us.

But we have Lucas – it’s his first Christmas and he has no idea at all. To him, it’s going to be just another day full of sleeping, eating, pooping, and snuggling with mom. [I love that part the most!] I know the big kids are all bummed that they’re missing his first Christmas but I reassure them that Christmas next year, when we are all here together, will be so much more fun since Lucas will be a year old and full of spunk! I can’t wait.

I’m sad that I haven’t had a chance to photograph all my babies and make a holiday card and that it will now have to wait until after the new year. I do need to photograph Lucas today though – he’s so cute!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, snuggle your little ones, and even your big little ones. I miss you my big little ones!

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