Lucas turned 6 weeks old on Friday which is of course the magic time when postpartum restrictions can be lifted. And I have certainly been anxiously awaiting this time. I haven’t kept myself so restricted, I do have a life to lead and kids to care for and things to do in general. James was extra diligent in not letting me lift and carry heavier things, the kids have all helped out with chores, and I’ve gotten plenty of rest while taking care of the baby. But I walk past the treadmill and the scale a bazillion times a day. I put on clothes that just don’t fit quite right. It’s the middle of the winter and the usual blahs have set in but even more so with just having a baby. I’m not typically a body issue person but like most women, I have my areas. I am not jaded in thinking that bodies go back to how they were right after giving birth, nor should they. And I don’t feel like making it go that direction either. But I do not want things to get out of control and I don’t want to feel lazy. I know that being some sort of active helps me get through the dull winter months. So I’m going to.

I pulled the things off the treadmill that were storing and collecting dust there. I told myself that I’d take it easy, that I’d not go all die hard and have unrealistic expectations. I have a tendency to get gung ho and hold to it for a few days then just quit. I’m so tired of being the quitter. I’m not good with managing what goes in my mouth, I will never be able to diet, even eating healthier is harder for me at times – I’m food week. So just keeping moving has to be it for me. I got on, I started slow and flat, and I go the music going. I went for 20 minutes and upped my speed enough to break a light sweat and did up the incline quite a bit even though I first said to myself that I wouldn’t. But I had to. I know I’m doing some good just by walking but I want to feel like the effort is extra worth it, especially in a shorter amount of time. It was good. It felt good. I feel motivated.

At my doctor checkup on Friday I was 10 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant which is still about 10 pounds more than where I like myself to be. So my goal is going to be to drop these extra 10 pounds by summer and another 5 by this time next year. I’m not sure I really want to lose the whole 20, I am older, my body has changed, and I’m not a freak about working out. I know that being a mom of a baby again will have it’s own perks but nursing also makes me ravenous all day long. I’ll be realistic. I know I won’t get on the treadmill every day and I won’t hold myself to that either. I will shoot for 4 days of the week though. And once the weather is better, I do want to get Lucas out in the stroller with the dogs too. Even if it’s just to the school and back to get the kids.

Here’s to keeping the dust and stuff off the treadmill which hopefully keeps the extra stuff off my bum. But really, I just want to feel good, I want to be able to keep up with a toddler and be able to run around the yard without dying. I refuse to be an old mom. This computer chair has flattened my hiney – maybe I can get it rounded out a bit again too!