It’s nearing 3am and I have yet to sleep. I’m nearing 24 hours of being awake which certainly does not bring out my inner college student – it makes me feel like near death.

I just changed the baby’s diaper and then just after I get him all buttoned back up, I have to change all of his clothes, my shirt, and some of the bedding. He’s in what I assume is a growth spurt. Behaving like a ravenous beast, sucking and gulping and thrashing around. It’s exhausting trying to maintain such a wiggly critter. Then just moments after turning it all into a tantrum, he not so gracefully urps up all the wonderful milk that I so lovingly created for him. Repeat this about 15 times today. And I thought he was eating a lot yesterday! At least he wasn’t throwing up on me!
And then at 2am, when I think I’m finally ready to get some sleep, he awakes to what he thinks is play time. I can’t refuse all of his adorable chubbiness and big gummy smiles. But really – it’s 2am!

It’s just been a day – one of those emotional ones that you just want to forget but will likely linger for more than eternity. I’m constantly reminded that this gig we call parenting isn’t for the weak, not always quite all it’s cracked up to be. That relationships are hard – not just the lovey dovey ones, but all the people relations we have. Gosh they are hard work and full of second and third and fourth guessing.

And then I feel like it all might seem better after a good night of rest. Only to come back to it being 3am and I will need to be awake for the day in 3.5 hours and have plenty to do with my day tomorrow.

So while I have a lot of jumbled thoughts right now, I will lay down and get some sleep. I just can’t make it harder for us all tomorrow.

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